June 21, 2009

Dear friends in life and in ministry . . .

Well the big day has arrived. Tomorrow I will preach at three Masses after which Pat and I will depart for our Summer hiatus to Catholic House at the Chautauqua Institution near Jamestown www.ciweb.org .

Tomorrow will also be my last day at St. Mary's in Bath where I have served as Pastoral Administrator since June 2003. Officially, my term ends on Tuesday, June 30 at 6 p.m., but I'll be taking a vacation week so we can get Catholic House up and ready for our first guests to arrive on Friday. Fr. Jim and my excellent staff at St. Mary's will hold fort until Deacon David LaFortune arrives in July.

Serving the wonderful people of St. Mary's has been a privilege I will always cherish. I wish Deacon Dave a smooth transition and know that the parishioners who embraced me during this past six years, will embrace him as well.

So, now that you are retired, are you going to keep writing your weekly email and column?

God only knows what's next, but for now - the answer is "No."

I have enjoyed writing this weekly email as an addendum to my weekly bulletin article "Sent to Serve". I'm grateful to you and all who have followed my life and ministry through this email. What will replace this adventure in amateur narcissistic journalism? I haven't as yet decided. (God has not yet revealed - would be more accurate.) For now, I'll take a month or two to move my email list to a new computer and enjoy the wonders that Chautauqua has to offer.

I do want to thank Rob Lash, my web-master who has used this email to update my www.deaconray.com website for at least the past five years. Rob has done this as a special ministry gift to his mom Margie Lash - a long time Cursillo friend. Rob, words can't fully express my gratitude. We'll have to see if there are other ways to keep you busy.

My last column was in large part inspired by the note I sent to you last week. I do this sometimes - write long introductions that eventually become columns themselves. So, if as you read my "Sent to Serve" column below you say to yourself - "I think I've read this before." - You have . . . at least in part.

For now - its off to retirement and whatever the Lord has planned for me next. What a ride! God is good!

Notes by Deacon Ray Defendorf for June 21, 2009
Two Weeks of Sadness and Joy

I will cherish the last two weeks as a microcosm of about forty years of ministry. How appropriate that they occurred during the last moments of my tenure here at St. Mary’s. Like life itself, the fourteen days included times of intense sadness and incredible joy. Each day was graced by my faith in God and friendships made over decades of life and ministry.

The sad experiences included:

· the passing of my friend Terry Norsky’s father “Charlie” and his funeral at the Bath VA Chapel,

· the passing of Maureen Hayberg (a friend of over 35 years and the original “Mom” of “Celebrate Life” the teen singing group that I directed from 1969 – 1984. I was privileged to preside at her vigil service on June 5 and preach at her Funeral Mass at St. Mary our Mother in Horseheads on June 6.

· the sudden death and funeral of 43 year old Silvy Murphy in Raleigh, NC Over the Memorial Day weekend, Pat and I flew to Raleigh where I assisted in the marriage of Heather Murphy, the daughter of our friends and former Corning parishioners Ed and Joan Murphy. Last weekend I returned to Raleigh to be with Silvy’s husband Ed Murphy II and twelve year old Eddie Murphy and to preach at Silvy’s Funeral Mass. She died of a brain cyst that had been misdiagnosed as a persistent migraine. Silvy had once been a law guardian here in Steuben County.

· While in Raleigh, I learned of the death of Steve Gerych, the brother of former St. Mary’s parishioner Olga Savino. I presided at his funeral on Wednesday and

· on Friday evening – prayed with the Earl family of Painted Post at the funeral of their father, father-in-law and Grandfather Robert Earl.

To Everything there is a Season and a time for every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.

The Joyful times included:

· Being in the presence of the remarkable families mentioned above as they mourned and powerfully experienced the support of family and friends.
“Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

· Being present for the diaconal ordination of my friend and parishioner Bob Colomaio and assisting Pam Colomaio as she vested Bob in his diaconal stole and dalmatic was a special blessing as was joining him at his first Mass as a deacon. These joyous celebrations brought memories of a similar day over 27 years ago when Bishop Matthew Clark laid hands on my head and the next day at St. Mary’s in Corning when I celebrated my first diaconal Mass.

· Thursday afternoon, my friend Ken Anderson joined me for my last Communion Service (and sing along) at the Taylor Health Care Center. My monthly visits to Taylor and the Steuben County Health Care Center have been among the many highlights of my ministry here. I just love those folks and they really came out in force for my last visit with them.

· On Friday night Pat and I met in Corning with several deacons and their spouses for dinner and Lectio Divina prayer. Our scheduled time of prayer was interrupted by a visit from a neighbor who, in spite of being in the midst of ongoing chemotherapy, delighted all with her joyful countenance. I recalled the words of a friend at Silvy Murphy’s funeral who reminded me that . . . “When humans plan, God laughs.” God was truly with us that evening in the joyful person of the unplanned guest from next door.

· Saturday morning those same deacons and many, many more met again - this time in Rochester’s Monroe County Hospital for Mass and Lunch with Bishop Clark. We celebrated our bishop’s 30th anniversary as Bishop of Rochester and recognized deacons who have been ordained for 25, 20, 15 and 10 years. At that celebration my dear friends Deacon George and Paula Welch received the Stan Zawacki Award for diaconal service. Stan was another dear friend and classmate who passed to new life 15 years ago. Patty and I had been honored with the Zawacki Award several year’s ago.

· But without doubt, my most joyful moments took place on Saturday Evening, June 13th as I greeted parishioners, former parishioners, friends and colleagues who gathered in O’Malley Hall for my Retirement Party. The event gave me an opportunity to personally share words of gratitude and affection with people who have significantly touched my life. In addition to many parishioners, I was surprised by deacons and friends from Chicago, Cleveland, Rochester, Waverly, Corning and Horseheads who attended the celebration.

· As if my already generous cake of joy needed icing, my wonderful parish staff “surprised” me with a “Farewell Edition” of the parish bulletin. I was humbled and truly touched by their very kind words,

I’ve spent the last six days writing a mountain of Thank You cards, cleaning out my office and computer for Deacon Dave, meeting for the last time with pastoral administrators from throughout the Diocese, visiting Catholic inmates at the Steuben County Jail surprising a few homebound parishioners and preparing this weekend’s homily. I’ve also tried to convey my love and gratitude to Barb Bailey, Dan Barefoot, Mary Fawcett, Paula Gardner, Fr. Jim Jaeger, Betty Langendorfer, Aubri and Brad Ordway, Barb Perry and Mary Carol Wall.

I have one more bulletin column to write for the weekend of June 27-28th. But, I’ll entrust the day to day operations of 32 East Morris Street to the very capable people above, Following the 11:00 a.m. Mass at St. Gabriel’s Pat and I will leave for Chautauqua for a mini retreat with the Catholic Community there and to ready Catholic House for guests who will arrive on Friday.

So there you have it, the second to last column on the sorrows and joys of the gifts of life and ministry that God has shared with me.

With gratitude to God that on dark days and bright sunny ones – God remains with us. Thanks be to God!

And thanks also to you for your love, your prayers and your support as we’ve walked this journey together.

Have a good week. Serve one another well!

Deacon Ray

Lands of the Bible Cruise

On November 11, 2009, you are invited to join Deacon Ray and Pat Defendorf and pastoral leaders from throughout the Diocese on a twelve-day Cruise to the “Lands of the Bible”.

Our itinerary includes an over-night flight to Athens where we will visit the Acropolis and the biblical city of Corinth before boarding the mv Cristal, a new 471 passenger cruise ship. We’ll dock at Port Said for a visit to Cairo (the Egyptian Museum and the Pyramids at Giza) then on to the port of Ashod in Israel. For two days we’ll visit sites in Jerusalem and Bethlehem returning to the ship each evening for dinner and overnight.

Our next port is Haifa where we’ll disembark to tour the Galilee with stops at the Mount of the Beatitudes, Tabgha (the site of the miracle of the loaves and fish), a boat ride on the Sea of Galilee and renew our baptismal vows at the Jordan River.

After a day at sea we’ll visit the Isle of Patmos where John wrote Revelations and then to Ephesus, Turkey where St. Paul established a Christian community on his first missionary journey. After a visit to Piraeus we’ll return to Athens for our return trip home.

The price of this journey of a lifetime(including roundtrip airfare, chartered cruise ship, guided shore excursions, daily breakfast, lunch and dinner while aboard ship, study guide, entrance fees and deluxe motorcoaches), starts at $2398 plus taxes, tips and fees.

Follow this link to download our itinerary:
http://www.deaconray.com/travel.htm

This cruise is expected to sell out so early reservations are very important. For more information and a brochure, please contact me by email or phone (607-426-1100).

Serve one another well!

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Bulletins