June 7 & 14, 2009

Dear friends in life and in ministry . . .

It has been two weeks since I’ve written to you dear friends – two weeks that I will cherish. Like life itself, the fourteen days included times of sadness and joy - each graced by faith and friendships.

The sad experiences included:
· the passing of my friend Terry Norsky’s father “Charlie”
· the passing of Maureen Hayberg (a friend of over 35 years and the original “Mom” of the “Celebrate Life” teen singing group I shepherded from 1969 – 1984. I was privileged to preach at Maureen’s Funeral Mass at St. Mary our Mother in Horseheads.
· the sudden death of 43 year old Silvy Murphy – the spouse of Ed Murphy of Raleigh, NC and daughter in law of long time friends Ed and Joan Murphy (of Hammondsport and Naples, Florida). Over the Memorial Day weekend, Pat and I flew to Raleigh where I assisted in the marriage of Ed and Joan’s daughter Heather. Last weekend I returned to Raleigh to be with young Ed and even younger Eddie Murphy (12) and to preach at Silvy’s Funeral Mass.
· The funeral of Steve Gerych, the brother of former St. Mary’s parishioner Olga Savino.
· And last Friday evening – praying with the Earl family at the funeral of their father, father-in-law and Grandfather Robert Earl.

The Joyful times included:
· Being in the presence of the remarkable families mentioned above as they mourned and powerfully experienced the support of family and friends. “Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
· The diaconal ordination of my friend and parishioner Bob Colomaio.
· Meeting for Mass and Lunch with Bishop Clark on Saturday afternoon to celebrate with deacon couples his 30th anniversary as Bishop and recognize deacons who have been ordained for 25 years.
· Celebrating with Deacon George and Paula Welch as they received the Stan Zawacki award for diaconal service.
· Greeting over 200 parishioners, former parishioners, friends and colleagues at my Retirement party last night. The event gave me an opportunity to personally share words of gratitude and affection with people who have significantly touched my life.
· A “Surprise” issue of this week’s bulletin prepared entirely by my staff. I was humbled and truly touched by their very kind words,

Next weekend will be my last weekend to preach and deacon at St. Mary’s, Bath (9 a.m. Sunday) and St. Gabriel’s in Hammondsport (Saturday at 5 p.m., Sunday at 7:30 and 11:00 a.m.) Rumor has it that St. Mary’s Choir has planned some special music for the 9 a.m. Mass. It should b e quite a celebration. If you are in the Finger Lakes next weekend, I’d love to greet you following any of these Masses.

With gratitude to God that on dark days and bright sunny ones – Emanuel – God is with us. Thanks be to God!

Notes by Deacon Ray Defendorf for June 7 & 14, 2009
In Search of Holiness - A Personal Quest

A few weeks ago the pastoral administrators of our diocese gathered for a retreat day at the Mercy Prayer Center in Rochester. Sister Mary Louise Heffernan, SJ who has over 30 years experience as a spiritual director served as our retreat master. Sr. Mary brainstormed with us words that could be associated with Holiness. After about 25 or so words were suggested, we were each given a piece of paper and asked to choose five of the words that resonate with our personal struggle to find holiness in our lives. I chose the following words: Simplicity, Wholeness, Authenticity, Surprise-able and Joyful. We were asked to reflect on each word.

Here’s what I wrote:

Simplicity is perhaps an unreachable goal for me for I am too driven to do, to create and to be “relevant.” My type “A” personality drives me to fill every moment of the day. Perhaps because I live in a constant “storm” - I imagine Holiness as being comfortable with the ordinary and simple things that life offers.

Wholeness - is integral to my personal quest for Holiness, St. Augustine says that our “souls cannot rest except in God.” A favorite story of mine is Shel Silverstein’s The Missing Piece. Because I believe that God is the “missing piece” in the human quest for meaning - I strive to be complete in mind, body and spirit but have a ways to go if I am to rest fully in the grace of God.

Authenticity - In John’s Gospel, Jesus prays that, while we may be IN the world, the Truth is that we are not OF the world. I seek to live in Truth, free from shame, pure of heart, transparent in my integrity but always aware of my need for God’s forgiveness and unconditional love.

Surprise-able - Like many people, cynicism and sarcasm is the basis for much of my humor. This reveals a suspicious nature which is all too human. I believe that truly “Holy” people are able to be surprised and awe struck with the wonders and miracles that God is doing. I need to expect miracles and never doubt God’s desire to surprise me with love.

Joyful - Jesus said, “I come so that my joy may be within you and your joy may be complete.” My joyfulness is challenged by my need to control and be free of restrictions. This overpowers my desire to love unselfishly - the true source of joy.

In retirement, God’ is calling me to simplify my life, living wholly and authentically in God, childlike in my awe, open to God’s surprises and loving Pat, my kids and grandchild so as to live joyfully in the moment.

So there it is - my personal (very personal) reflections on Holiness as I approach retirement - and a new road in my life journey. I invite you now to choose five words that describe your personal search for Holiness.

While we’re in a reflective groove . . .

Rev. Ed Spencer, who co-directs the Re-threads and Reverb Ministries, sent me this thought provoking reflection by author Mark Batterson.

“Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Grab life by the mane. Set God-sized goals. Pursue God-ordained passions. Go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention. Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God. Stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution. Stop repeating the past and start creating the future. Stop playing it safe and start taking risks.

Accumulate experiences. Consider the lilies. Enjoy the journey. Find every excuse you can to celebrate everything you can. Live like today is the first day and last day of your life. Don't let what's wrong with you keep you from worshipping what's right with God. Burn sinful bridges. Blaze new trails. Criticize by creating. Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks. Don't try to be who you're not. Be yourself. Laugh at yourself. Quit holding out. Quit holding back. Quit running away.”

Congratulations to John Cardona who last weekend was ratified by parishioners as the newest member of our Parish Council. John succeeds Jim Gallagher whose second three year term ends at the end of June. Jim has served well as Chair of our Stewardship efforts over the past two years. Thanks to Jim, John and all of our Council members.

Have a good week. Serve one another well!

Deacon Ray

Lands of the Bible Cruise

On November 11, 2009, you are invited to join Deacon Ray and Pat Defendorf and pastoral leaders from throughout the Diocese on a twelve-day Cruise to the “Lands of the Bible”.

Our itinerary includes an over-night flight to Athens where we will visit the Acropolis and the biblical city of Corinth before boarding the mv Cristal, a new 471 passenger cruise ship. We’ll dock at Port Said for a visit to Cairo (the Egyptian Museum and the Pyramids at Giza) then on to the port of Ashod in Israel. For two days we’ll visit sites in Jerusalem and Bethlehem returning to the ship each evening for dinner and overnight.

Our next port is Haifa where we’ll disembark to tour the Galilee with stops at the Mount of the Beatitudes, Tabgha (the site of the miracle of the loaves and fish), a boat ride on the Sea of Galilee and renew our baptismal vows at the Jordan River.

After a day at sea we’ll visit the Isle of Patmos where John wrote Revelations and then to Ephesus, Turkey where St. Paul established a Christian community on his first missionary journey. After a visit to Piraeus we’ll return to Athens for our return trip home.

The price of this journey of a lifetime(including roundtrip airfare, chartered cruise ship, guided shore excursions, daily breakfast, lunch and dinner while aboard ship, study guide, entrance fees and deluxe motorcoaches), starts at $2398 plus taxes, tips and fees.

Follow this link to download our itinerary:
http://www.deaconray.com/travel.htm

This cruise is expected to sell out so early reservations are very important. For more information and a brochure, please contact me by email or phone (607-426-1100).

Serve one another well!

(Click Here For Sent To Serve Archives)

Bulletin: June 7, 2009

Bulletin: June 14, 2009