March 26 , 2006

Dear friends in life and in ministry . . .
Greetings on this beautiful Sprint day . . . .NOT. Actually over the past week in the Southern Tier of New York we've been hovering between snow, bitter cold and relatively nice weather. It is good to know that now that Spring is at least here on paper, Summer can't be gar behind.

Thanks to those of you who have prayed for the two very special women I wrote about last week.

Mary Carol Wall, our youth minister and faith formation coordinator got some good news this week (compared to the news she received last week). He Cancer is not stage IV but stage III and "very treatable". She'll begin chemotherapy soon but with much more hopeful prospects following a PET Scan that indicated that the cancer had not entered the bones.

Deb (Corcoran) Griffin a long time Corning friend, now parishioner and choir member here at St. Mary's had lymph node surgery last week and will begin chemo also. Her prospects are also better than first thought.

I've been playing bachelor and grand-dog sitter this weekend. Pat and a friend spent the weekend museum hopping in NYC. Henry, my daughter Annie's gentle and beautiful Golden Retriever moved in to keep me company while Annie drives from Florida with her friend Jen.

This weekend's column continues the series entitled Have a Heart which was inspired by a parish mission by Fr. Scott Seethaler that Pat and I attended while in Florida.

Hope your week is blessed .

Ray

Printable column coming soon... (Adobe PDF file, plugin needed) (Click Here For Sent To Serve Archives)

March 26 , 2006

Still More Hearts!

Over the last two weeks I’ve presented a series of columns entitled “Have a Heart” which speaks to our maturing need for growth of heart. There are eight kinds of hearts we need to acquire as we mature. Acquiring each “Heart” is necessary before  we are able to move on to the next. The series was inspired by a talk by Fr. Scott Seethaler, a Capuchin Franciscan priest who offers parish missions throughout the country. You may wish to visit Fr. Scott’s website: www.FatherScott.com

Previously we suggested that children from birth to age ten need to develop a “Thankful Heart” and that during our teen years it is important that we acquire a “Generous Heart.”   Last week we added a “Loving Heart” (ages
21-30) and a “Faithful Heart” (ages 31– 40”

Heart #5  Age 41-50: A Courageous Heart

"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference."

Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Prayer is known well beyond Alcoholics
Anonymous as model for grace filled living. The years between 41 and 50 tend to be a time when the “storms of life” often upset our serenity and require of us a “Courageous Heart.”  Whether our “storms” be brought on by sudden health concerns (e.g. breast cancer), teenage children, the loss of a job or an “empty nest” we need to develop a “Courageous Heart” to get us though. This heart grows from and joins with the previous hearts we’ve developed to help us safely navigate life’s surprises.

Heart #6  Age 51-60: A Forgiving Heart

Someone once said “If you are not peaceful by age 60, you’ll never have peace in your life.” To have peace, it is necessary to develop a “Forgiving Heart” for life’s storms can leave even a “Courageous Heart” bruised and burdened. It is good to remember that our journey to maturity always requires a trip through immaturity.  But falling short of our ideals does not have to permanently damage us. Mistakes can become essential life lessons. “Forgiving Hearts” understand that they need to let go of their need for a “perfect past.” Often letting go of the past will allow us also to let go of the pain we carry with us from less than perfect parents. It is good to know that “Parents have invisible strings attached to their kids. If you don’t forgive them - they’ll jerk you around forever.”

Forgive your parents for not being perfect just as you’ll want your kid’s to forgive you when they reach their 50s.

Next week our series concludes with Joyful and Trusting Hearts. Have a good Lenten Week Four. Serve one another well!

Deacon Ray Defendorf

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